We’re all familiar with the terms “man code” or “girl code,” but what about “adult code”? Are you clinging tightly to habits from your youth and, inevitably, holding yourself back in your present life?
Close your eyes (only your pretend eyes, I need you to keep reading) and imagine a world where everyone continued acting exactly the way they did in 9th grade. Brand new to high school, awkward, terrified of people who were retrospectively very tiny and harmless, and no clue of life outside of your parent’s house. Open your pretend eyes.
Gosh guys, sorry for sending you back to that place, but it’s necessary. You see, some of us, more of us than I want to admit, never really shed that high school skin. I’m sure there is a way to blame this on Facebook, but I’m more certain that this is a consistent theme through time and social media is simply shining a big light on it now.
I am writing this because I encounter adults on a regular basis who still think it is okay to be cruel to others, to manipulate the truth for their own gain, or to gossip coldly about others due to jealousy or ignorance.
Drink some calcium, maybe dip a cookie in it, and take a look at a few life gems I sincerely hope you can embrace.
There is a lesson in every obstacle.
When we’re young, change is difficult, our spectrum of life is small, and we think the world revolves around our needs and wishes. If you live this way, you may have a few exciting moments in life, but you’re going to continue making the same mistakes over and over. It’s crucial to learn from what you are going through in order to move past it. If you miss the message, be prepared for groundhog day.
You are responsible for your own happiness.
You can’t blame it on your parents anymore. No one is “ruining your life” except yourself. You are responsible for how hard you work, your capacity for self-discipline, your daily habits, and the people you surround yourself with on a regular basis. If you aren’t happy, you are solely charged with seeking happiness in a healthy and mature way (because any other form of happiness is sure to bring you misery in the end).
Transparency leads to freedom.
In high school, it’s tempting to lie for the sake of fitting in or impressing someone. Eventually, however, everyone is likely to find out the truth. Not only do you lose relationships from lying, but you are no closer to achieving whatever it is you lied about doing. Covering up your tracks and keeping fake facts straight is exhausting. Full transparency ensures that you don’t need to keep up with stories or risk getting caught in a lie, and it makes you more attractive and trustworthy overall.
Mean girl gossiping is the worst.
Ladies (and gentlemen), we need to be supporting one another 100%. Hearing gossip about someone is never a reason to write them off before giving them a judgment-free chance. Why? Because human beings should be moving forward and growing daily, not remaining the same person forever. If you had a bad experience with someone in the past, you may get along great now! Likewise, you and your bestie from college may have nothing in common today. Women are capable of being cold-hearted, catty ninjas and we tend to shut out other women for a variety of petty reasons. Let’s stop this nonsense and acknowledge that we are mature adults who will change this world together.
Forgiving others is as important as forgiving yourself.
You can’t keep carrying that weight around, friend. Storing anger in your heart against yourself or someone else does not change anything about the situation. As a mature adult, you have two options: forgive yourself/the other person and move on, or continue dwelling on it and stay trapped in your own personal prison. You’re officially responsible for extending grace to others. It’s part of being an adult, and I promise it reaps more benefits than your anger ever did.